thanks pam

Everyone is working so hard, strving for the fullest. Yet i am doing nothing... i'm unsure of what to do. Sometimes what you think and what you can do or wanna do is so different. U can nv push urself to achieve wad u think u wanna achieve. Or it's simply just me, not willing to push myself. Obviously, that's the case, i'm forever enjoying life.

Why is it that i forever gotta think i'm so smart when i'm darn rite stupid. Why is it that everytime i've fallen i can nv pick myself up. Why is it that everytime when i fell i will nv learn my lesson. Why ? Nobody's gonna suffer but myself in the end.
I'm so gonna die in poly. Forever slpping in class. No revision done at home to. Skills not there, knowledge not there. Everything tht's essential is not there. So? Die lah. Eileen once told me, luck will be used up, and i think my time's up. I must start pushing myself.. starting this weekend. Push myself to the extreme limit. There's too many pple out there that i dun wish to disappoint. Maybe i'm afraid of disappointing myselft too... but deep down within i know that's not the reason why i will want to push myself that hard. I'm a rotten person who can simply just slack there and await death, rot my life awae. My source of motivation has just been back, and besides, i got my mummy to satisfy. I always hear pple telling me, strive for no one but urself, but i nv am able to do tht and i dunno y... i'm forever only working for pple...maybe cos i dun love myself enuff to do that.

During MORG tutorial todae...i so nearly wanna die... he's going so fast and everyone's not knowing everything. I was so frustrated. I dun understand the software, i dun understand the system. I'm so dying.

I'm in such a bad mood now, cos i feel so darn right stupid. I can't stand the feeling of being stupid, but yet i am so stupid. I need a break. Actually i've been breaking all along. Sometimes i wish that i haf no brain. SO that i dun haf to think.So that i wun think so much. SO tht i wun think i'm stupid.

Pamela just made me cry. I'm glad i still haf my frens. I miss IJ. I thankful for her presence. When i'm in a bad mood she touched my heart. At least nw i know and am for sure she'll be there when i need someone to fall back on. Thanks so much pam~ thanks.

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Just suddenly decided to update... or shd i sae i haf an urge to update
Saw my tagboard just now...made me miss IJ so much again.
Was at friendster earlier on...seems like i've lost contact with a few of my frens.
Yeah that always happen to me... guess i'm the one at fault...
Didn't put much effort to keep everything going.
Sometimes there's so much thing i wanna do, not just keeping in contact.
So many more things i wanna do...but i can't.
What i CAN do is so very limited...and the thoughts saddens me.
Haha... guess i'm feeling kinda emotional now, but i'm nt in a bad mood or anything.
Just emotional i guess, cos all of a sudden, i miss everyone so much.
I wanna do something bout it, but sometimes i think i'm so egoistic and prideful.
Haha... i'm so shit lah... aniwae, dun haf much time to blog...came here to say a few words
to a few of my very much missed frens.
I hope they don't blame me... but just wanna let u all know tht i've nv ever forgotten all of u.

Tiff: Hey gal... i haven't forgotten all bout u...in fact i think this is quite a miracle...cos u've only just crossed my mind a moment ago and there i see ur msg on the tag... how's everything going ? Did u change ur no?Hmm...shd we like go out one dae? I dunno when was the last time i even went out with u... i think i was like my bdae last last yr...

Yipin: Hey hw are ya in aust? Still adapting well to it and coping along fine ? By the looks of all ur photos of ur environment on ur blog, i dun think u shd haf much of a trouble ? Haha... when u do come back to sg...do do do tell me k~ We didn't get to meet on our last outing... and yeah, although u only haf like 21 days of hols, do still come back to sg ok~ cos we all miss u so.

Cecilia: Although i noe u wldn't be reading this, i just need to let u noe that i've nv forgotten u and i nv will...cos u're the one who made me partially who i am todae. Haha... brother i miss u... haha, and guess wad? U're still my one and only brother~! I haf no other brothers~! Haha... man... i miss u... i haven't even like spoken to u for the longest period of time liao... will find time to give u a ring sometime soon. I promise.

Pamela: Haha.. i dunno if u still come here anymore of haf u probably gave up coming here... lol.. but if u do, just wanna tell u i miss u too and so sorry for not being able to go watch initial d wif u... terribly sorry... eh soon we'll go out k.. do all the crazy and stupid stuff that we always do. Watch movie, sing kbox, be tourist, take neoprints... anything u wanna do i'll go do with u k~ yeah even if it means watching opera... erm provided it's free... lol, but i doubt u even need anyone else besides ur opera khakis to watch opera with u liao~ haha ;)

Collen: Hey there, thanks for always dropping by here to leave a msg even though i seldom reply or update my blog. Haha, it means a lot.. thanks man~

Edrea: Haha, i also dunno if u still come here esp nw that u haf so many new frens in JC...which prob means u still haf so many blogs to visits. But in case u still drop by, just wanna u to noe that i miss u too... even though u may haf forgotten me. Haha.

Alycia: U probably wldn't stumble along here cos u nv did... but well, just wanna noe hw are u doing...u nv seem to reply my msg or anything... or u that busy or haf u changed ur hp no. w/o telling me or are u simply not interested in having me as ur fren anymore ? Haha... oh well... i'll be waiting for ur call or msg or wadever~ haha.

That's all for now... so yeah... too tired to think of anything nw... but kinda felt better...cos all these were tugging at my heartstings just nw... i wanna let all my frens noe tht i haven't forgotten them~! Really... =(

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