i hate myself for being so extremely vulnerable and helpless..

i hate myself for falling so easily when u tripped me.

i hate it. u're killing me.

Read more...

Looks to my right....

looks to my right...

ahhh...i give up, both my left and right are siao pple, so i decided to be nice and join in! lols

alycia just can't stop rolling her eyes.

alycia seriously thought that she has enuff

pamela has turned into liang popo and i'm laughing my ass off

*stuck out tongues*

After so many shots...we are all tired... as u can see,except for pamela, the super ego

turning mischievious~~

I was so hungry i wanna eat her hands! And i think my mouth
is big enuff to stuff her whole fist in

Muahahaha... now my turn! It's time for revenge!

Ouchs! Everyone is coming after me!

oops... i think i've just choked alycia... but she still looked so happy
and satisfied being choked by me=X

haha... wad the hell are we doing man~

cannot take it liao... lol...laugh until wanna peng liao

bimbos in the making

haha... i look bad in this pic.. but i like it a lot cos i think evon is super cute in here, and i never fail to laugh whenever i see it!

ok... pamela teo is going crazy frm taking pics alr...

Haha...everyone is so acbu here! bth... -.-'

2 stupid pouting flowers

Hands in hands, we work to make the world a better place... wahahahahahahaha *faints*

Haha...wait lah, i'm nt ready lahhhh -.-'

Alycia is daydreaming : "what the hell is stupid pt doing... she must be saluting me cos she admires me"

Haha... SMUG faces... can't help it... we are too smug

Alycia's laughing so happily cos she's only to happy to see me XD

Evon caught on camera (after finish digging into her mouth) wahahah =X

Guilty look of evon after finding out that her disgraceful shot has been snapped!

Haha, the 2 presidents unite after long!

They all said pamela looks more matured... lol, do i look like her daughter when i'm beside her ?=X

Hehe... alycia and i acting cute

The 4 of us creating a lot of noise in cartel... look at all our cameras!

I dunno wad the hell is tht idiot hiding behind the menu for! Hahaha...

i guess i'm gonna start feeling stress again... gdit assignment 4 is coming up, wad's worse is that i am in a grp of 3....which means more work, i dunno if this is wad i really want or if this unnecessary hard work is something i stupidly asked for. but somehw, hafing to do more work should be better than doing work wif pple whom u can't stand or work wif rite? I hope i'm rite this time... and i really pray that i will not fight wif laogong... i dun want the efforts i've put in to establish our frenship to go down the drain just becos of one stupid dumb project... somehow, i'm quite disappointed in someone frm my clique... maybe i'm not even qualified to sae that. hmm... i wanna put in my100% in this upcoming assignment... i noe that if i combine force wif laogong, we shd be able to produce work that may be a little beyond quality work... hmm.. or am i being too confident of ourselves? yeah, i think i better not have too high expectations, i dun wanna sink into depression or wadever... esp not during the period when we haf this assignment to rush. Everyone in my grp is very impt nw, we must be in tip top condition~! Jiayou~! We can do it if we want to!

Aniwae, went out wif evon, pamela and alycia on tues... wahahaha, it was so fun... we went cartel to eat and we were making so much noise! Being the zi lian 4, all of us brought camera~! So we were taking pics until SIAO! My camera ALONE is being used to take 128 pictures... yeah, u can definitely imagine how many pics we took in total... we're mad~ but tht's us. We went took neoprints, and according to pamela, that looks like studio shots, quite true lah, we all look quite good in it~ Lol... now whenever i look at the pics we took, i'll always laugh! It's so funny and hilarious... will post a few up, meanwhile... JIAYOU everyone!

Read more...

i am so sad

Read more...

After watching wedding crashers... i miss them so much... haiz. freaking shit.

Read more...

FREAKING SHIT

I just fought with my mother...she is sometimes so freaking unreasonable, and i really hate it when she rants on and on and on... it's not as if my life isn't deprived enuff~! OMG! I AM SO FUCKING PISSED NOW THT I RECALL THE FIGHT~SHE SAID I SHDN'T GO OUT TOMOLO COS IT'S A SCHOOL DAE, SCH DAE IS MEANT TO STAY AT HOME AND STUDY! FREAKING SHIT LAH... I GO OUT ONLY WHEN DAY SHE GOT SO MUCH TO SAY, AND WAD ABOUT THE TIME WHEN I'VE STAYED UP SO LATE, STAYED UP THRU THE NITE JUST TO GET MY BLODDY WORK DONE? WHERE WAS THE COMPLIMENTS I DESERVED? SHE SAID I SHD ONLY GO OUT DURING THE WKENDS, BUT THE PROB IS I HATE GOING OUT DURING WEEKENDS, IT'S SO FREAKING CROWDED, AND IT'S SO FREAKING EXPENSIVE. WHY IS IT THAT SHE CAN'T FUCKIN UNDERSTAND THAT, IF SHE CAN GIVE ME ENUFF TO SPEND, I GOT NOTHING TO SAE, NOT IT'S ONLY 50, NOT SAY I HAVE EXTRA CASH. TRY TO UNDERSTAND MUM! I GOT A LIFE, STOP POUTING OR RANTING WHENEVER I GO OUT. I HAVE A BLOODY FREAKING LIFE TO LEAD. DAMMIT.

AHHHHHHHHHH..AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I AM GOING NUTS. TO HELL WITH WAD SHE SAID , I AM GOING OUT TOMOLO ANIWAE, WHO CARES? I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HER WORST AND MOST ROTTEN DAUGHTER ANIWAE.

yeah...why is it that i'm so concerned and so affected by all she does ?

becos she's my mother, and i love my mother

THIS IS FREAKING SHIT.

Read more...

my god... time is passing by so freaking quickly, before i know it or get to enjoy, before i know it or get to cherish, everything is over by then. there's no turning back.. there nv was... actuallly i'm kinda worked up now....pissed and upset by the thing called time... why is it that time used to go by so much more slower back then when u didn't noe how to appreciate? and just when u learn to cherish it, it's flying pass as if it's nobody's business and there's nothing u can do to prevent that from happening.

wedding crashers wif lamu and ahbu was great... i thot i wld be angry wif them for being so late, but the thot of meeting them again eased away all the anger there is... i was so happy to meet them... i miss them so much... they sorta "brought me up", and i noe they'll always be a mentor.

tjb has not slept for 28 hrs alr. her life is so deprived i swear... she cldn't even fulfil her most basic requirements, slp. i can't believe that i can actually do something straight into the nite and thru the break of dawn, and not even resting at all, chiong to sch. is this wad we all called life ? i am hanging on now cos i haf someone out there to motivate me... but i dun wanna depend on tht motivation... i'm so afraid that history will repeat itself, although i felt that it's already beginning to.I'm struggling to hold back, i'm constantly reminding myself. I dun wanna see myself sinking deeper and deeper again, i wanna do something for myself but not for anibody. Will i hang on long enuff...to get thru it ?

i realised that i'm not the only unhappy soul out here... i've been reading a few blogs, seems like everyone's life is in a mess, is turning topsy turvy. somehw i noe wif the existence of that person, i'll temporary be quite alrite. is it really true that as a person grows older, she'll relishes less things and feel more lost than ever ? if that's the case, i rather i put a stop to my life, it's not as if life is anymore fantastic now, and if it gets any worse, can u imagine? cos i can't.

Read more...

poly

waiting for our OC tchr to come in... wanqing and jesley

Read more...

oh just one last thing to sae.. pple can changeeee so fast...

todae when i went wif laogong to passup our crs, we saw a topic "shd same sex marriages be allowed?" den laogong and i had a discussion, and we both had different opinions, and maybe cos i'm frm a gal sch, i said it shd be allowed... afterall, everyone was borned differently... wanqing asked if i haf ever liked any gals before since she heard tht being frm a gal sch shd at least like at least someone of the same sex once...

den todae on my wae home, i saw a fren, better dun disclose her name here... she was once a les... and guess wad... todae i saw her kissing a guy, which shd be her boyfriend... i was like OMG... she changed so fast! I thot she was deeply in luv wif tht gal in sch... and less than a yr after going to jc, she got herself a boyfriend~! lol... oh well...guess tht when in a all same sex sch, u yearn for someone to erm... care for u and be there for u...den mixed feeling arises~ i guess this is how it happens... lol...oh wells... wadever it is... i got no further comments~! lol ;)

Read more...

happy happy

heheh... i'm back...finally decided to do some blogging... hmms... actually i keep thinking if i shd close down this blog... still contemplating...

aniwaes, lots haf happened...everydae everytime, there's something happening every dae... i got a lot of things to be completed... but todae is a good dae, tjb is in a good mood...so i shall not complain~! haha... i got oc to complete, draw to do and gdit to try to complete too~!

had a long dae in sch todae, class was quite shittish in the morning, cos the first lesson was dbm, which sucks... and to make things worse, stupid quek said i kept toking... which was UNTRUE. freaking shit lah... always sae i tok, i mean not tht i didn't tok at all, but it gets really irritating when she scolds me for asking my frens questions on the things she teaches. it's precisely cos she's such a mediocre tht i haf to ask my frens wad's going on. and obviously because her lessons are so darn boring, i gotta find entertainment to keep myself awake rite... i admit i do tok in cls at times... but it's not as if i was toking at the top of my voice or something rite...but todae i swear i wasn't really toking a lot... and she was still pointing her finger at me... hw shit is tht... hehe... luckily got ahma and laogong to calm me down.

lunch was terrible, pizza hut suddenly tasted terrible... haiz... and i was damn full... so different from the usual me...

after lunch was gdit... gdit was everything i need to brighten up this stupid dae of mine~ i got back my first assignment in poly... and my first gdit assignment... hehehe... i'm head over heels~! i got an A~! and i am also in the top 20s~! Lalala... together wif ahma and laogong~! Whoots... we rawk! pamela teo~! just in case u're reading this... haha, gotta give ur credit too lah... lol.. thanks for giving me the copyright for ur sadako pics~! Hahaha... u rawk too!

ok lah... better get back to work liao, gonna do my draw, den oc project, den gdit~! lalalala... tjb...for the time being... is a happy happy gal... hees

Read more...

i am a freaking tyrant

I am so freaking pissed now... why is it that everything must be thrown to me to decide... and if any steps i take goes wrong... den someone can just freaking congratulate me... wah lau, we're a freaking group and they want me to freaking decide on everything..i think it's so freaking selfish ?? Cos this is my part that i'll be presenting, and if i screw up my part, den thanks, i'll so bloody fail the freaking presentation. fine lor, if this is how u wanna do it, fine... be it this wae. freaking hell.

Read more...

thanks pam

Everyone is working so hard, strving for the fullest. Yet i am doing nothing... i'm unsure of what to do. Sometimes what you think and what you can do or wanna do is so different. U can nv push urself to achieve wad u think u wanna achieve. Or it's simply just me, not willing to push myself. Obviously, that's the case, i'm forever enjoying life.

Why is it that i forever gotta think i'm so smart when i'm darn rite stupid. Why is it that everytime i've fallen i can nv pick myself up. Why is it that everytime when i fell i will nv learn my lesson. Why ? Nobody's gonna suffer but myself in the end.
I'm so gonna die in poly. Forever slpping in class. No revision done at home to. Skills not there, knowledge not there. Everything tht's essential is not there. So? Die lah. Eileen once told me, luck will be used up, and i think my time's up. I must start pushing myself.. starting this weekend. Push myself to the extreme limit. There's too many pple out there that i dun wish to disappoint. Maybe i'm afraid of disappointing myselft too... but deep down within i know that's not the reason why i will want to push myself that hard. I'm a rotten person who can simply just slack there and await death, rot my life awae. My source of motivation has just been back, and besides, i got my mummy to satisfy. I always hear pple telling me, strive for no one but urself, but i nv am able to do tht and i dunno y... i'm forever only working for pple...maybe cos i dun love myself enuff to do that.

During MORG tutorial todae...i so nearly wanna die... he's going so fast and everyone's not knowing everything. I was so frustrated. I dun understand the software, i dun understand the system. I'm so dying.

I'm in such a bad mood now, cos i feel so darn right stupid. I can't stand the feeling of being stupid, but yet i am so stupid. I need a break. Actually i've been breaking all along. Sometimes i wish that i haf no brain. SO that i dun haf to think.So that i wun think so much. SO tht i wun think i'm stupid.

Pamela just made me cry. I'm glad i still haf my frens. I miss IJ. I thankful for her presence. When i'm in a bad mood she touched my heart. At least nw i know and am for sure she'll be there when i need someone to fall back on. Thanks so much pam~ thanks.

Read more...

Just suddenly decided to update... or shd i sae i haf an urge to update
Saw my tagboard just now...made me miss IJ so much again.
Was at friendster earlier on...seems like i've lost contact with a few of my frens.
Yeah that always happen to me... guess i'm the one at fault...
Didn't put much effort to keep everything going.
Sometimes there's so much thing i wanna do, not just keeping in contact.
So many more things i wanna do...but i can't.
What i CAN do is so very limited...and the thoughts saddens me.
Haha... guess i'm feeling kinda emotional now, but i'm nt in a bad mood or anything.
Just emotional i guess, cos all of a sudden, i miss everyone so much.
I wanna do something bout it, but sometimes i think i'm so egoistic and prideful.
Haha... i'm so shit lah... aniwae, dun haf much time to blog...came here to say a few words
to a few of my very much missed frens.
I hope they don't blame me... but just wanna let u all know tht i've nv ever forgotten all of u.

Tiff: Hey gal... i haven't forgotten all bout u...in fact i think this is quite a miracle...cos u've only just crossed my mind a moment ago and there i see ur msg on the tag... how's everything going ? Did u change ur no?Hmm...shd we like go out one dae? I dunno when was the last time i even went out with u... i think i was like my bdae last last yr...

Yipin: Hey hw are ya in aust? Still adapting well to it and coping along fine ? By the looks of all ur photos of ur environment on ur blog, i dun think u shd haf much of a trouble ? Haha... when u do come back to sg...do do do tell me k~ We didn't get to meet on our last outing... and yeah, although u only haf like 21 days of hols, do still come back to sg ok~ cos we all miss u so.

Cecilia: Although i noe u wldn't be reading this, i just need to let u noe that i've nv forgotten u and i nv will...cos u're the one who made me partially who i am todae. Haha... brother i miss u... haha, and guess wad? U're still my one and only brother~! I haf no other brothers~! Haha... man... i miss u... i haven't even like spoken to u for the longest period of time liao... will find time to give u a ring sometime soon. I promise.

Pamela: Haha.. i dunno if u still come here anymore of haf u probably gave up coming here... lol.. but if u do, just wanna tell u i miss u too and so sorry for not being able to go watch initial d wif u... terribly sorry... eh soon we'll go out k.. do all the crazy and stupid stuff that we always do. Watch movie, sing kbox, be tourist, take neoprints... anything u wanna do i'll go do with u k~ yeah even if it means watching opera... erm provided it's free... lol, but i doubt u even need anyone else besides ur opera khakis to watch opera with u liao~ haha ;)

Collen: Hey there, thanks for always dropping by here to leave a msg even though i seldom reply or update my blog. Haha, it means a lot.. thanks man~

Edrea: Haha, i also dunno if u still come here esp nw that u haf so many new frens in JC...which prob means u still haf so many blogs to visits. But in case u still drop by, just wanna u to noe that i miss u too... even though u may haf forgotten me. Haha.

Alycia: U probably wldn't stumble along here cos u nv did... but well, just wanna noe hw are u doing...u nv seem to reply my msg or anything... or u that busy or haf u changed ur hp no. w/o telling me or are u simply not interested in having me as ur fren anymore ? Haha... oh well... i'll be waiting for ur call or msg or wadever~ haha.

That's all for now... so yeah... too tired to think of anything nw... but kinda felt better...cos all these were tugging at my heartstings just nw... i wanna let all my frens noe tht i haven't forgotten them~! Really... =(

Read more...

short update

i finally decided to do something to this blog
but this post is not gonna be long,
cos i'm rushing off to slp.
Poly life is fun.
But
It has deprived me of slp.
Terribly.
So Yep.
This post is just to let all u guys noe that
THIS BLOG IS STILL ALIVE.
Only that there'll be less update.,
More complains.
I'm sorry.
I'll try to make PLESANT complains. Ahahas..
Alritey, running to catch my slp~
Take care all u peeps out there.
I promise i'll be back.
Soon.
A promise is a promise.

Read more...

Happy mother's day

Fri: GUESS WAD?! I BROKE THE 2ND THING IN 1 WEEK! MY MOTHER'S BIG CHINA 'ANTIQUE' VASE! OMG~ I dun understand hw can i be so lucky and so clumsy and so better fingers and shit... ahaha...all pamela's and fc's fault... if pamela told me she'll be late, i wldn't haf to rush was i was doing and i wldn't haf broke it, and if fc wasn't coming, i wldn't haf vaccummed the floor... yes, the idiot, me, broke the stupid vase while vaccuming the floor... lol, but just kidding lah, it's totally unrelated to them. Luckily my parent's nt in SG, otherwise i'm gonna haf a hell outta it again... haiz... i broke the vase and the vase broke me... cos i went out to buy a replacement vase, in the event of hoping tht my mother wldn't find out tht i've broken the vase... haha... and guess wad... till nw, she really hasn't noticed it *oh yay* Haha... yeah, and tht darn vase caused me like wad?! $85 bucks... TERRIBLE... nw u noe why i said the vase broke me... but guess wad again, when i bought back the vase den i realised hw different it looked frm the original one... haiz... and shd i haf known, i'll just buy those cheap ones i saw earlier at a shop... Haha... Aniwae, i also went to buy a new comp tht dae.. haha, thanks to FC~ haha, thanks for taking so much trouble to help me find the vase, bring it back to my hse, den go back to sim lim and collect the comp, set up the comp, go back home to take ur xp cd and come back again to finish setting up my comp... haha, really thanks a lot... my comp rawks now... hahs~ it's so damn shiok to haf my own comp, no more conflicts~ ah shiok... i haf everything i needed nw, every electronic gadget i wanted i haf it nw... i haf my mp3 player, i haf video cam, i haf digital camp, i haf my portable dvd player and i haf my own comp~ ahhhh hw shiok is this man... oohhhhh hahaha.... -.-' ignore me =P

Todae: Met up wif the gals again; bro and cecilia~ Yipin was supposed to come but cldn't make it last min... so in the end only 3 of us. Both of them were late again and i was the earliest~! Waited for them again... haiz........... den we went to coffee club at wisma, everything was self svc and i hated tht.... haha...we sat there for bout 2 hr+ chatting... haha... it's been long man... den after tht just roamed bout orchard lor... walked down to cine... actually wanted to play arcade, but the arcade sucked. We went into the more than words shop... and ed and i went crazy...we bought stickers...cos we thinking of starting to collect stickers again...crazy pple we are...den after tht, we went down to buy bubbletea lor...but i didn't buy any...cos quite bloated...so didn't buy any. Cecilia left first cos she gotta go back for mother's day dinner... ed and i cont walking ard...went hmv and stayed there for quite sometime... listened to Jolin cd...and i thot it was really quite gd...hmmmmm....too bad, no money nw... maybe if by sch start i still haven't get sick of her song, i'll buy... Haha...after tht headed home but went out again wif my family again for mother's day dinner too...brought my mother to marina south for the bbq steamboat... we(my sisters) quite enjoyed it lah, but as for my mother, it was too hot to really be able to enjoy... and we went to a nt so gd store... pls ok... nxt time dun go chong pang...it sucks...the food variety is really limited until cannot be anymore limited... yeah... so waste money...somemore more exp den other stores tht offers better food and more varieties too... yep... after dinner, went to play arcade wif my da jie while the rest of the family watched on.,.. haha... it was good... didn't spend tht much too...my game skills are improving~ Haha... ok lah... tht's all for nw...i'm going to slp soon liao... so yep...

Oh yeah one last thing before i go... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY~! I lurve my mama...~! I love all my mothers~! But my real mother the most of cos~! Haha... *Muacks*

Read more...

Blasting

Back to update...this week was a blast... haha, and i'm so damn broke now... oh well...tht ALWAYS happen to me... haha, i wonder hw am i gonna cope when sch reopen... but i dun wanna cont working like some of my frens decided to. Hmm...hope my mother will increase my allowance den... it better be... Hehs...

Wed: Met up wif my brother Cecilia... wah lau wei... she's really terrible u noe... go out wif her i always feel... i dunno wad word to use... cos everytime i meet up wif her, i always haf to wait for her...it's ok if it's like 5-15mins... but i always haf to wait like wad??? 30-60++ mins... wah lau... damn sian lor... awaiting is a torture man... haiz... this time she was bout an hr late... sighs, so i went to the koi garden and sat down there alone to wait for her... was quite peaceful la, watched the fishes... the kois damn scary... almost keep jumping out of the water... When she finally came, we went to kbox lor... den we sang a lot of songs together, quite cool...haha, cos quite nw nv sing wif her liao, den when i was selecting songs, i saw a new and unfamiliar mtv, it was zhao wei's shi yi yue~! Haha... I nv seen tht before, tht was like my fav song ? And when i saw it, i keep telling myself nt to get too excited... cos i scared it's dat kinda stupid bluff pple mtv, but it's nt, it's genuine~! Haha, and it's sooo cool~! I love it so much, during the whole mtv i was like drooling~! Lol...

After kbox, we went to BUM...woah...bum was hafing really big sale...and i swept awae almost everything there! Haha...nah, i'm just exaggerating, i wish i'm tht rich... haha, i bought 4 shirts for only $30 bucks... haha, quite worth it rite... shiok~! Obviously after that, i became damn broke...can't really spend anymore $$. After shopping, we headed for Bishan, cos cecilia needed to collect her pay and i wanted to go petslover to buy a hammy... sighs...

Reached J8 and my god... within 5 mins of stepping into J8, guess wad? I bummed into 3 or 4 pple tht i noe... haha...terrible...but quite sometime since i've been there, so it was quite good too.. haha, bro went to collect her pay and i went petslover.Saw a few hamsters there, and they were all cute...I took quite sometime there, in the end...i finally chose one out of a whole litter... it's a she..and she's really cute... haven't taken her pic yet...will put up soon... I felt quite bad for seperating her out of the litter... but den, i didn't haf a choice, the whole litter was sapphires and i wanted another normal winter white, but they didn't haf any there, so i tok i'll go to another pet shop in bishan area to get the normal winter white. So acc bro to haf her dinner first at cafe cartel... haha, bro is so rich, so envy her...

At the bus stop on our way to the pet shop, we called Edrea up and persuaded her to join us since she stays so near... and since it's been so long since we last met up... so yep, at first she was quite reluctant cos she was studying for her physics test, but i managed to persuade her and she relented, and so after 21540324 days, we met up again =) Haha... missed tht gal~ We went to tht pet shop and saw my normal winter white, i told the petshop owner to bring down the cage so i cld haf a better look, and when she did, she left us alone to look at the hamsters, and that was when a couple approached us and asked if i was buying. When i told her i was, she told me nt to cos she has 2 hamsters at home and she's planning to give away cos they got no time to take care of it and cos they alr haf 3 dogs at home... i was considering and thinking if i shd buy or take their hamsters... my consideration was based on whether i shd help "save" lives instead of buying 2 new hamsters and wasting the other 2 lives, as they may be put down or die due to lack of care? Den i was thinking since i'll alr made 2 of my hamsters (baby and piercy) lost their lives... i shd do some deeds instead...those at the pet shop will eventually go to homes of pple who wants them... so yeah...wif tht, i agreed to accept the hamsters... they gave me 2, it was a pudding and a normal winter white,and they're rather humongous~! Haha... but oh well... actually the plan was tht i'll bring home the sapphire tht i bought and bring the normal winter white home too since tht was wad i decided to buy initially... den the pudding will go back wif either edrea or cecila... but in the end, i brought home all 3... -.-' cos the both(winterwhite and pudding) were too loving and we can't bear to seperate them... so yeah... nw i haf 4 hamsters in my hse... and i'm sure there'll be more to come... frm the winterwhite and the pudding... haha... their babies will be called winterwhite pudding... so cool. Hehs... Anywae, all of them are unnamed yet, so if any of u guys can think of good names, pls pls tell me k =)

Thurs: Went to SP early in the morning cos gt some stupid ICT camp briefing thingi... Sian man... i'm really beginning to dislike SP... so many pple there are like so super annoying and such posers can... and i hate tht... argh...esp the seniors... yanhan and i can't stand this snr called brandon...and i think he's realy.......... g-r-o-s-s.

Oh yeah damn funny...while queueing up to register, yanhan and i were like toking damn loudly lah~! We were like giving a lot of comments, den after tht, i was like asking
Lex:"eh where's tht nerd tht wore the office suit during the enrolment ah?"
Han:"yeah huh...dun see him...dunno leh~"
Lex:"Must be these kinda camps too tough for him lah, tht's y he nv sign up"
Han:"Haha, yeah huh...must be"
*silence and cont waiting*
Han turned ard and turned back immediately
Han:Omg... u noe wad.... i think the guy we were toking bout is rite behind us...u go see whehter it is....
I turned and i really saw him standing behind us... haha... omg... hw can it be so conincidental~! Lol...i hope he doesn't noes we;re tokin bout him...so a piece of advice, nxt time u wanna tok bad bout anyone, pls look ard before opening ur golden mouth~ Haha... -.-'

The whole darn briefing took damn long lah... wah lau, came out wif all those stupid ice breakers and games tht's really damn retarded lah...... SP~! Haiz.... really dunno wad to sae liao. Drag until like 2.45 den let us off... terrible, horrible. Yanhan and i were like so hungry we just decided to eat at the Macs there..after tht,Yanhan came to my hse. We took 147 home, the whole journey home took 1 hr... haha, so i decided, when sch starts, i'll take mrt there and 147 home. At first we decided to watch so close again, but in the end, we changed to jade goddess... haha, i think it's relatively nt a bad movie lah, but there shd be more action, more love and a little humour... cos it's kinda dry. After tht, we rushed down to meritus mandarin to haf our kick boxing... Kick boxing was terrible tht dae... Jason went so fast till i can't even catch up... i was blur thruout like the whole lesson, and it irritated me so much. Haha... oh wadever~!

Read more...

In memory of Baby & Piercy

I think i really sucked as an owner... i dunno where and what haf gone wrong. Now images are just flashing back of the times i had wif them, esp Baby. I still remember that time i bought her back frm the pet shop during my prelims period cos Honey and yuepi had just died together and i wanted some company. So i went to the pet shop to get her, tht was bout 7 mths ago. She was so tiny then, and so wobbly...i had no idea tht she was liddat den, thot she was still young and unsteady, but at tht time, she was alr so swt den... always the gentle and patient one... though she's the tardy one, she nv fails to lick me or even anyone when we touch her, it's always so friendly and welcoming. Day by day i watched her grow, but she nv grew steadier, she was still as wobbly and as clumsy as ever, den i realised that she must haf been bornt liddat. I thot she's was weak den, but just last mth when she caught some eye infection and seemed to be leaving me too... she strove and fought hard to live... i almost gave up on her, but she was that determined, and so i thot she was unique and brave. I grew to understand her, i healed her tht time and she was once again back to her normal self.

I still remembered that i came home frm work one day feeling really sian and kinda tired and pissed.. i took her out and was stroking her... she was crawling about for a feel mins, but after that, she seemed to sense that i was nt feeling good, and she just lied still on my tummy there...and i just cont to stroke her, she almost fell aslp den... hw many hamsters actually does that? She was there, but now she's gone for good.

Serve me rite, hah, when she was here, took her for granted, and nw she's gone, i'm kicking a big fuss here. I nv learn my lesson lah...so nthing new...i noe i'm gonna miss her... and i feel that this is all my fault. I feel tht i've deprived her of her life. She haven't lived to her max... maybe if she has gotten to another owner, she might haf still be alive and kicking. I dunno...it was all so sudden, if i haf nt taken her out for a walk, i might nt even realised she's sick... she still looked so good...maybe she's just puting on a brave front, maybe it was hurting like hell inside her.. she didn't wanna give up too the very end, and i thot it cld still be like last time, i thot she wld haf made it like she had done so last time, i thot i cld haf cured her like last time. But it nv happened. She nv stop breathing till the turmoil really tortured her to the extreme. Maybe if i've taken care of her more properly, maybe she wldn't haf fell sick. I just dunno where went wrong. Both of them left me in a matter of 2 days, such a blow, it's hurting so much.

Baby.. i'm so sorry... u're really my 1 of the best hamsters that i've ever gotten in my life... no 1's gonna replace u in my heart... i hope tht u'll be doing well up there... i hope u're nt hurting anymore... if there's more than anything that i can do for u now...i hope that ur pain was be inflicted on me instead. Thanks for giving me all the wonderful time all these while, u'll be dearly missed.

Piercy, even though the time i had wif u was really short, u've still brought wonderful memories to my life, and i wanna thank you for making my days too... i also wanna say that i'm really sorry for depriving ur life too.


My baby always

Read more...

Changes

Back to update... haiz...hasn't been feeling too good these 2 days...emotionally bad... dunno y also..maybe it's pms.. it's like i'll wake up...den try to find something to do...even when i go out, i'm also like zombing about... very lifeless..i just feel that something is lacking...but i dunno wad... it's a terrible feeling lah...

Aniwae went out yesterdae, was trying to find vicki... and the funny thing was that we dun even haf an inkling bout her whereabouts or details, and they wanna find her... i thot tht was quite dumb and lame... and i actually didn't want to go wif them yesterdae... but my 2nd sis was making a fuss bout the comp...i knew i had better get out of the house, before another fiery argument breaks out again and i'll haf to pay a heavy price for tht again... i'm tired and i had had enuff. Sometimes i really wonder why i haf to haf such a sister... why can't i just lead a peaceful life... u noe, i was comtemplating before i fell aslp last nite... i guess it wldn't be tht difficult to turn hate into love for someone, but tht really haf to depend on who the person is. I feel that as if i'm only the one always trying to salvage the relationship and she nv bothers bout anything...if tht's the case, den why shd i try so hard and make myself so tired? I dun understand. When i was kinda younger, i kinda hated my mother too... but tht nv lasted.. i love my family so much nw, besides my 2nd sister, tht's y i said i guess it wldn't be tht difficult to turn hate into love, it'll really haf to depend on who the person is. I also can't understand, hw, hw can anyone in this world, always deem themselves as rite, and others always as the wrong parties ? I really pray tht there aren't many of these kinda pple in the world, cos i really understand and sympathise wif pple who haf met such pple. Nvm if she's liddat... the prob is that my parents are just shutting their eyes and foregoing this kinda attitude and behaviour. That's what irks me the most. I've said what i haf to, and i guess they've kinda tried doing something too, but cos of my 2nd sis conditions, my mothers especially urges us to give in to her. I feel that her behaviours is sometimes so ridiculous that it really can't be condone! I really at a lost as to wad i shd do~! Well... i just guess that i shd do the same as my parents.. cos if they as elders, can swallow their pride and bear wif this kinda ill behaviour, i jolly accomodate them and let tht asshole sister of my do wad she likes, be king if she wants to.

I've told a friend of mine bout it... and she told me something which i've alr thought about it...
Mo: "It doesn't matter if ur sister is going crazy and doing all this unacceptable stuff.. wad's most important is that YOU know what you're doing, and that u're doing the right stuff.. tht's all u need to know and all tht u shd do."
Me:"So what if i've done the right stuff? It seems as if nobody cares and nobodys seems to notice, i dun get any rewards and nt even any compliments, so what's the use of it ? Esp for a person like me who's so eager to be noticed! You noe hw terrible it feels"
Mo: "Pple will naturally notice when u're really done the right thing, and even if they don't, what matter most is that u've alr set ur own consicous right, and when u do think bad, u're the one that will feel good, sure it's no easy task to attain, but when thinkin back, u're the one who's at an advantage."

After thinking thru wad she said, it really does makes sense, i dun haf to specially go out of my way to do anything... i guess all i haf to do is to avoid her as much as i possibly cld, and when she's being ridiculous or demanding, i'll jus give in to her, maybe at the end of the day, she'll be the 1 feeling remorseful and ashamed of her own doings, and i... maybe feeling bullied and push ard and irritated and pissed off, will or might prob feel proud at the end of the day. Hah, it all makes sense. My mouth may be damn foul when someone 'pulled off the trigger', therefore i shd really just try to keep my mouth shut at tense times or when someone obvious spark off something... haha, and i'm really trying very hard too.

I kept thinking, after changing all these -tve pts of mine, will i still be the same Jiabao as i used to be ? I like the Jiabao i am nw, i dun like changing myself into someone like i've mentioned... i hated the jiabao long before, but after 'revamping', i liked it... i always thot tht such behaviours tht i've mentioned just nw seemed kinda weak and i really hate it, why do i always haf to be pushed ard, be bullied, always haf to give in and always loose? Doesn't that just seems like a big sore loser ? But think bout it, hw much courage needs to be gathered to be able to do all these esp if it's for someone like me ? Ha, something just struck me, this behaviour will only be carried out at home, afterall, like my mother said, we're a family, the outcome doesn't matter. It's quite true, everyone has to make sacrifices and compromise to keep a family going, to keep it happy, since someone so inconsider and insensible like my 2nd sister can't compromise to all these, and since i'm so in need of some peace at a place i call my HOME, i'll just haf to do that. That seems at least more acceptable to me =)

Ahh... i feel better nw tht everything has been released and sorted out =) So i hope it works. Yep, enuff of all these burdens.. haha. Went out todae, was at orchard area again. Hung out wif my eldest sis and her friends todae. Was at coffee club... we order a cheesy mushroom pie and boy it was good~! Heee... but apparently da jie didn't thot so...it was kinda too cheesy n she gt sick very soon.We slacked and talked rubbish there and also viewed the taiwan pics that they took. After slacking at coffee club, we went to another place to slack again -.-' Haha... suang gu da jie said she nv went in NYDC at outside heeren before and so we proceeded there to cont slacking.. she order an elephanchino drink called love potion and it was so big and milky it made her wanna puke... till nw,her stomache still feels kinda uneasy. After slacking, we went for dinner, the whole that was meaningless and unpurposeful.. haha..we went to crystal jade for dinner and i thot dinner was great... ;) Went home after dinner cos it was kinda late alr...

Think i shd be busy for the nxt few days or so... mo actually asked me to go see vicki again tomolo, but i really dun want to haf to do all those silly and stupid waiting again esp if we haf NO INKLING as to where she'll be and wad time she'll arrive all these shit... so yeah... i'm just gonna stay at home tomolo, it'll be peaceful at home tomolo so i dun mind! Haha, just my father and I... heh... den wed will be hanging out wif bro cecilia, den thurs going back to SP and after tht hanging out wif Yanhan, den fri will either be working, doing admin or getting a new comp =D I hope i'll be able to get my new comp.. i'm anticipating like shit~!. Haha... So yep.. guess tht's all for nw~!

Read more...

Sch revisitation

Sighs.. i'm still hurting like hell...somebody just save me.. i hope i can have a bigggg ice pack and put it on all the areas that i'm burnt!

Went back to sch todae to find the teachers.. on my wae dae, asked cheng and weng if they wanted me to get anything..weng didn't want cos she was going for oral..den cheng actually said she wanted dessert, and when asked her wad she wanted, she said she wanted ice cream.. like wth...by the time the ice cream gets delivered to her mouth, she'll be drinking the cream and nt eating the ICE cream... lol... In the end.. i bought her that GUI LING GAO... wah lau..damn ex lor... $5 a bowl.. like wth... in the end when i delievered it to her, she said she don't like it cos it's damn bitter... she hill billy lor.. eat gui ling gao nv poor the glucose of cos BITTER rite... stupid lah she... haha =X But aniwae, it was really good to meet up wif her again, it's been long since i last seen her and i kinda missed her too =)

The reactions of a lot of teachers when they first saw me were really funny...esp ms tan, they all went "omg jiabao.. wad happened to u... y r u so tanned?!" Haha..and there are actually some teachers that take 10 mins later to realised i'm burnt, such teachers are cheng laoshi and mrs seng.. they're so wols u noe.. wahahha =X

Went to c my Cl jnrs rehearse for their IJ heartbeat thingi, they're doing the recital item for their event... heard they reciting it... i understand why they've won first..cos their vocals are very firm and powerful. I didn't like it personally though cos i thot i was kinda over emphasizing.. so yeah.. but of cos i didn't tell them that lah.. dun pour wet blanket on them lah, i noe they've worked very hard for it... and later they may also think just becos i cldn't get to eat grape i'll think that the grape's sour... haha... so yeah lor... pamela really like it though...dunno lah, maybe it's just me...dunno hw to appreciate such things.

After that... we went to the canteen, treated my jnrs, chun li and jana drinks... haha...and can u believe it.. jana actually asked me to teach her logs... wahahah..and i'm so proud of myself...cos after all this time, i still remembered hw to do logs~! Wahaha... lalala, cool ehs!

Went to st gabriel to look for jac yip after that... but she was in the midst of scolding pple...so we left and waited for her at the benches area between st gabs and st raphael.. haha.. we waited and after awhile, i caught sight of her walking towards her car... haha, she actually forgotten that we were waiting for her -.-' She was rushing off to do something at st mics block.. so she actually gave us a lift to st mics... wahaha, and guess wad, she changed car..to a much funkier and cooler car..it's something like a jeep and a station wagon at the same time, very sporty, like tht kinda car~!

Didn't really get to talk to her, but it was getting late and pam needed to rush to the post office.. so we left sch...stupid pamela, bus card -3 cents, den cannot take the shuttle bus back to ctr.. no coins also, so in the end, cos i so jiang yi qi, walked wif her to the ctr under the hot scrotching sun even though i'm alr a suckling pig and even though the pain on my face and back is excruciating~! Haha... ok lah...dun keep pasting gold on my own face.. haha, tht blur block..go post office everything also dunno hw to do one.. haha, and somemore left her art pieces there...gotta go back up to take.. haha, i really take my hat off u lah~!

Posted on 26.4.2005 at 11:17 PM

Read more...

Extremely heat up

The pain is killing me... ahhh... i'm so burnt... and the pain is really intolerable~! Heh... wad shd i do... anyone noes any remedies to cure sunburn?? If u do...i beg of u to pls tell me... haha... i hope i wun be like what charlene told me... ending up in hospital cos of a really bad burn...my mother will slaughter me and will nv let me go out to the beach again... but my condition's really quite bad.. my face is burnt, my shoulders are burnt, my back is burnt, my entire hands are burnt, my ties are burnt and i thinkkkk my scalp is burnt too.. like wth rite... save meee

Actually i'm very tired... think i hardly slept at all last nite, cos my shoulders and back were hurting me so badly that i can sleep properly on my back... and if i were to sleep on my front... my face will hurt too.. and the sad thing is that.. i can't sleep on my sides too... see how badly burnt i am ? I've nv been burnt so badly in my life before...maybe that's y i just can't stop complaining bout it now...

Yesterdae lah...act strong lah... act 'thick skin' lah... act anything but smart... Went sentosa wif my Sentosa colleagues yesterdae... Met at harbour front at 10pm... was late as usual... i was still at boon keng mrt at 10am.. luckily it doesn't take very long to reach habour front from boon keng... but guess wad...i wasn't that late. Jasmine and Charlene were even more late than me. Hehs.We took the bus to palawan beach... when we reached there, the place was like empty... we started to play vball but it didn't last for long cos all of us wasn't very good at it...moreover the weather was too tormenting to take it, so we thot of going down to the water.

The water was very clean compared to the other beaches that i've been to.. and actually, i didn't intend to get myself entirely wet, cos i didn't bring extra bra..but stupid jasmine..splashed water at me and got me all wet before i could even decide~! Haha..irritating lah... i told her that she better give me her bra later~ but of cos tht didn't happened lah.We stayed in the water for a long time, talking and playing at the same time.. it was really quite tired there..no one to disturb us at all..as if the whole island was ours. Den there's this ang mo family that came into the water also...piwen, jasmine and pauline all taken a fancy to them..cos i think the children quite adorable.. but as i wasn't very gd wif kids, i wasn't too interested or fascinated wif hw beautiful they looked. While they were keeping themselves occupied wif the kids, charlene and i decided to swim across to the other shore. It was the first time i dared to swim so far out in the sea.. but that was cos there wasn't much tide... it was quite tiring considering the fact that i haven't exercised in such a long while... but i made it still.. yeah duh rite, otherwise i wldn't be blogging here alr -.-' After resting for a few mins, we begin swimming back again..

I was kinda feeling hungry by 11+..cos i didn't take breakfast..but all of them refused to go up and eat wif me... they said they'll go up at 12..and when the time came..i gotta beg them to get out of the water... haha, thanks to piwen and charlene taking pity on a poor hungry soul, jasmine and paul finally reluctantly aheaded towards the 7-11.. wah liew... they all damn funny and irritating one lah.. just nw in the water keep telling me nt hungry.. but when they got out of the water... they ate like as if they haven't eaten for days... even eating more than me, esp jasmine and piwen lah~! Haha... stupid rite... Den Qianyi joined us frm then on. It was kinda funny when we suddenly decided to go to suiloso beach... jus when we finished eating..the train that chartered tourists ard passed by us..den when it stopped..pi wen said we can actually take that to suiloso beach.. but haha.. when we finally decided.. the train started moving alr.. den jasmine so funny...she actually shouted out "hey wait~!" and guess wad... the train really stopped for us...so embarassing.. haha...

We went to suiloso beach and continue to swim about somemore. Played monkey there.. just imagine.. swimming frm 10+pm - 1+pm (3hrs) den swam somemore frm 2+pm - 4+pm (2hrs).. madness...5 whole hrs directly under the scrotching sun... tell me who wldn't be burnt like me ? i feel soooo cooked k... We went to bathe after that.. and in the process of waiting.. this asian looking lady actually got kinda impatient i guess and decided to bathe in the open in the ladies instead~! My god... she REALLY took off EVERYTHING from top to bottom and just washed herself infront of everyone bare naked... wad an eye opener for everyone there... haha =X

After the sentosa outing, actually wanted to head home straight one... but pi wen and qian yi managed to persuade me to go PS to watch movie wif them... met u wif juli there, but in the end we didn't catch any shows, cos they wanted to watch infection but the chickens (charlene and i) didn't want to... den charlene and i wanted to watch millions, but the rest didn't want to... so as we cldn't compromise, we decided nt to watch in the end. We just went to eat and headed for the arcade after that. Arcade todae was bad... i failed practically almost every games i played.. so throw face can.. juli is a very pro gamer.. 50cents can really last her a long time.. she wasn't kinda glued to her game... i was kinda tired..so charlene, pauline and i left first as we all cldn't take it.. and that's all for that day.

Read more...

For the past few days, it hasn't stopped raining for a moment...it's just rained and rained and rained... it's either u see rain or u see the world's all grey... somehow it makes me feel so nostalgic... and making me feel all emotional... i dunno if it's really the weather or just me myself...

This morning when i was going to work, a thot suddenly struck me... i've been thinking that i haven't been missing secondary school life ever since i left it... and i found it kinda weird...since i had left so much memories there and since that so many of the teachers i like are all there too... i finally found an answer todae... and i finallyretreived the feeling that was lost for so long... i'm missing sch, i do miss sec sch...i haven't felt this kinda feeling all these while nt becos i've forgotten bout the good times i had back den, but becos i haven't had had the time, the chance to think, to comtemplate and to recall so much anymore, since i'm so caught up wif my present lifestyle now... but somehw this morning, i was just 'enlightened'. Now i noe why pple always say that one must haf time for herself... the time for urself is nt only to rest, but the time is also for u to reflect bout ur past doings. Only when one is able to reflect and comtemplate will she or he be able to move on smoothly and endure her long journey in life. Now that i've been 'enlightened', i noe that time for one self is an essential in my life.

Today is CLDDS national inter sch essay recital competition... our sch participated... and guess wad ? They came in first~! Omg...it's so unbelievable.. totally incredible.. they're so steady~! I'm really so proud of my jnrs... they did it...we finally produced results after what seems like so long~! I can so feel the happiness they're feeling, and i'm so happy for them too...but believe it or nt...i actually dreamt that they came in first last nite and it came true~! Haha...but somehw, at the same time, i felt kinda lost... hmm..last yr under my leadership, we only managed to clinched a consolation prize... and they improved so much this yr~ haiz... cld the prob really lie within me?? I'm beginning to feel dubious about my own capabilities.

When poly starts, i really hope that i'll haf the determination to settle down to study. Get good grades, graduate to a good university and graduate wif good grades to a good job.Good grades. Good U. Will I be able to do it ? It's a long wae, the journey will be trying and tough. Jobs. Wad do i want. I dun wanna be ani office gals, i want something extraordinary, something exciting, something challenging. something fresh almost everydae. Pilots. Actress. Vet. My biggest ambition in my mind..in fact...in my life. Work well, strive hard. Foresight. They all work hand in hand. Here we go, here i come.

Read more...

Celebrations

Omg...it's saturdae todae and i'm gonna work later~!!! So sian... going to go celia's hse to do admin later.... hmm...actually i also dun really noe wad to update...

hmm...just celebrated my birthdae a few days ago... haha, it seems that my birthdae celebrations are becoming better and better each and every yr~! This yr... i had like 5 celebrations wif 5 grps of different pple!!! Haha.. and i had like 3 birthdae cakes~! Woah... i wonder if i put on any weight at all.. haha... on the 25th march... i went out wif my celest family~! Haha..i swear i totally didn't noe that they were gonna celebrate to me... we only said to go out for some gathering... haha...and we went into some tea joy tea house... like omg... that was like the biggest mistake we ever made...lol...it was some cheena traditional tea house and the tea they serve inside are all those very medicine and smelly kind... u noe wad i mean??? haha..we only sat there for awhile and poor zhuan sacrificed himself... haha, he bought the tea to drink cos very paiseh to nt order anyting and walk out again when we alr sat down alr rite... haha...and da jie bought an egg... yes an egg...lol...after dat...we proceeded to V8 cafe...we ordered quite a lot of food... fries, garlic bread, cheesy wedges etc etc...den when we finished these food... they suddenly tell me they smelt something burning...and my da jie esther went to 'ask' the waitress wad was that smell...but actually she went to get the lighter to light up the candles on the cake for me~! I was so stunned and surprised and so happy...haha... they sang the song for me and i blew off the flames!~ Haha... it was a chocolate biscuit cake and though i dun really like choc, tht cake tasted great somehow~! Hehe... I cut the cake and nw den i realised hw gd my cake cutting skills are~! haha.. all the cakes i cut are super out of size and in the end i ended up eating a big slice myself... haha....aniwae, i really wanna thank my da jie esther, my er jie zhuan, my twin sis regina (though she wasn't there) and my wu mei jingwen for celebrating my bdae wif me~!!!

Den on sat it was family dae... haha, in the morning, i celebrated wif my cousin and aunty and sister... we went to tanglin mall to a western restaurant called spageddies and the food there was really quite good... den after that we went to starbucks cafe to chill and chat... and at nite, i went out wif my family to eat black pepper crab~! whoohooo...my fav... haha...

After dinner, went home to rest for awhile, after which my sister drove me to Changi airport wif her friend Yenling... haha, it was quite cool to slack at the airport some time ard 11++pm...very quiet very peaceful, was at the pacific cafe there, den they treated me to drinks and a cake~! Haha, i ordered an American Cheesecake.... i eat until nw i like a bit scared of cheesecake alr... -.-'

And on sun~! The actual dae of my bdae.. .haha, i met up wif my seniors in the morning... eileen, lishan, bern and mayhui came down to meet me.... wahaha...believe it or not...i am actually the first to rach there....how nice...lol...we went to kbox at tp and bern came in later... we sang many songs there and it was quite fun lah... everyone was singing and joking there, haven't met them up for quite some time alr...so it's kinda like a reunion...miss everyone...haha, if only everyday was my bdae =P Yeah them at 1pm... this hooligan waiter came in...(he opened the door using his legs cos his hands were occupied -.-') he came in wif a cake that they bought it for me~! Haha...it was a humongous one... and it was a mango cake... they sang a happy bdae song for me thru the karaoke system and i really felt so touched... hmm... maybe cos i've nv celebrated my bdae wif them before... really thank all u guys for arranging and taking time out to celebrate wif me =)We continued singing all the wae until 3.30... was supposed to leave at 2pm, but they didn't chase us so we sang and sang and sang to our hearts content ;)

After that, went to meet my friends (Edrea, Yanhan, Pamela and qifen)at suntec... qifen actually didn't want to come cos she needed to rush home to complete her JC course selection thingi. but somehow, i persuaded her to~! Haha... ;)We went to NYDC for dinner and i thot it was quite not bad...after eating and drinking so much, i decided that i haf to go to the toilet, and qifen went wif me... haha, believe it or not...after going to the toilet, my jean's zip spoilt~! Totally spoilt and i cldn't zip up at all!~ '_' So infuriating and embarassing... luckily i brought my jacket out wif me, so i just it round my waist to cover it up~! oh man..Den when i went back...everyone was like so fishy... haha... and before i knew it... a waiter carried out yet another MANGO cake and they started singing me the happy bdae song... haha... haiz... these are really my bestest buddies u noe... for dunno how many consecutive years, they nv fail to turn up for my birthdays ;) i think i'm really very lucky to haf them as my friends and i do do do do cherish them a lot...wad wld i do w/o them :( after dinner, we went to the suntec fountain wanting to take pics... haha,i was so engrossed in taking pics wif each of them that i cldn't tell that yanhan told me a lie~! Haha... she told me she wanted to go out to make a phonecall to her mother... so i really took it for real...meanwhile i just continue taking pics...when she came back, she told me her phone no batt...so being NICE and CONCERNED, i offered her my fone... but she didn't take it... after bout another 10 mins or so, i was actually asking them to leave... cos Ed and Qifen haf sch nxt dae, so i didn't want them to go home late... but the funny thing was that they kept telling me to stay awhile longer, and i cldn't comprehend why... den at last, Yanhan gave in and told me that they didn't want to go cos she has actually made a dedication, which will be flashed on the fountain~! WAHAHAHA... can u imagine how delighted and ahppy and excited and high and everything i was??!!! Haha, it was such a surprise man, totally something i didn't expect...and it's so 'romantic'... haha, if any of them present that day was a guy, i think i'll fall head over heels for them... hahah :P It took another 5-10 mins for the dedication to come out... haha, the funny thing was that it wasn't only flashed on the fountain, but the dedication was also read out... haha...i was so jumping wif joy...i filmed it down too~! :) Finally after that, Qifen and Edrea left us... leaving me, yanhan and pamela... as we decided it was still kinda early to go home, we decided to go to the Esplanade... but halfwae there, we decided that we dun wanna go there anymore, cos like everytime go there a bit sian, so we went to pacific cafe at marina...haha, we ordered drinks there and chatted bout everything...esp wif pam...cos it's been such a long time since we last met up wif her, but she hasn't changed much, maybe only to become more caring and si boon only... =X Haha, but the opera-ness in her hasn't changed one bit... or in fact...it seems to become even worse~! Haha....stupid Pacific cafe closes at 10.30, so by 10.30, we gotta leave, and wif that...my birthdae celebration came to an end.

A really big thankew to all those who celebrated my bdae wif me on the few days... i dun really noe wad to sae... i only noe that these will be the few days in my life that i'll remember in the days to come... i luv u all so much...really pray that nothing will happen to our friendship..and may our friendship continue to blossom~!

Read more...

Your Brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male

Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Read more...

Day one of my isolation: I did it! Todae wasn't such a bad dae, except tht i woke up wif a black face... but it was alrite. Went to work at 9am, started work at 10am. It was a boring start off... writing cny cards again, checking the addresses, putting ang baos into evelopes...den Julie came in at 11am and asked me to deliver the clients' cheques and cny cards to the headquarters, which was at cityhall... haha, i thot it was quite cool~ i got her pass and managed to enter the headquarter office that's highly secured~! Haha...quite fun...but when i was there, there were a lot of weird stares! Lol... guess probably cos i looked very young, i mean pple who worked at raffles city are at least in their twenties rite...den they kept staring at me, as though i'm an intruder and as if i'm gonna plant a bomb in their office.

Went for lunch after that... had BK. I order double mushroom meal and changed my fries to onion rings. I'm so gonna swear that that wld be the last time eating at BK. I dunno why but it tasted horrible, i haf to force myself to gorge it down~ i stopped when i finally couldn'y take it, by then i only had 4 onion rings left, so it wasn't thttt bad... i finished my burger and my drink... i was so damn full also... felt like puking~guess lunch was tht horrible cos i had it alone, it was a lonely and sad lunch, but i guess i shd take it as a kinda training.

Rushed back to the office at 12.30, den did data entry all the till 3pm. Was listening to the FM while doing, and Celest was being interview. Kinda cool, haha, she kept me company in the quite and boring room, but actually, i quite like being in tht room, since there's no once else, i'm quite 'stress-free' if u noe wad i meant.Julie actually wanted me to stay till like 4 or 5 to help her write bdae cards, and she told me that the cards will be delivered to the office by 2pm. But by the time i finished at 3, the cards were still nt here, so i called her. Since there was nthing left for me to do, she told me to go home... haha, so i knocked off early todae =)

Went home rite after tht...actually i wanted to take a nap cos i was quite tired... but i got glued to the comp. Was as usual, doing my 'homework' on vicki... haha, i realised i still can't get over her, although i like some other stars nw, i realised that she's still the best... really like her a lot, she's very unique, someone who really has her own views and perspectives. I guess after all these years, grew to really noe and understand her. Some of u think hw cld it be possible to understand and noe her real self... hmm... i wldn't sae tht i totally knows wad's she thinking all the time, but i noe i noe more than many fans out there... aiyah... this kinda thing very difficult to explain one lah...only pple who feel for this kinda thing will noe...but to me, i think i call this fate.

Used the comp for a few hrs and went for dinner wif my parents after that. When dinner was consumed, i went to meet jingwen to do some 'star chasing'. We went down to novena to meet the rest. When we met the rest, we took a bus to SLF building. It was really dark dere and we still had to walk up the steep slope... kns... i seemed so unfit...think i really gotta go do some exercise alr... i'm supposed to be sporty~! We waited for about 1++ hr before ms chong finally arrived in a station wagon. She got a new assistance, but i can't remember her name~! Haha, she's a rather young, petite and pretty lady. Yep, when celest came out of the car, she was like "HELLO!" I was diaoz... haha, den she chat wif her casually for a few moment, there was this irritating international fan tht kept asking celest for signatures and celest signed them all... den celest toked to us until she forgot she gotta go in alr and we even hurried her in.

WAited outside the radio station while she did the radio interview and and we all tunned it tht channel.We entertained ourselves by crapping and laming ard.When it was time to call in, Helen got thru, and when the deejay asked her wad did she want to sae to celest, she said "oh nthing lah, we just call to 'za chang'(disrupt order) only!"The deejay was like somewhat horrified and said "oh since that's the case, i shall nt tok to u alr!" and the line was dead... lol

She finally came out of the studio at about 11+, when she came out, we had a nice little talk which lasted for about half an hr... she talked to all of us, one by one and we were again, crapping. They were all asking her if she liked the presents they gave her, it was quite a awkward moment for me...since i nv give her anything... i haven't like her to the extent tht i'll buy something for her... haha, even for vicki, i didn't really give her anything before, at least nt in my memory...even if i did, i probably did it in a million yrs ago.Actually i thot she forgotten me alr... but haha, she didn't! She still remembered my name!I cld actually ask for to take a photo wif her but i didn't want to be like so anti-climax, so i suggested a group picture.The pic was quiteeeeeeee alrite, will send it to her sometime soon.She told us bout her filming exp at Taiwan wif Benny chan but i better nt disclosed it...at the end, she hugged all of us...one by one...and when it was my turn...my god...i stepped on her!!! Haha...but she didn't even feel it... lol...alrite, gtg nw, still gotta work tomolo.nite!

Read more...

Going solo, the road to isolation

I'm so tired... mentally and physically. Actually, i'm very sad todae, i feel so neglected and upset, and the cause of it is still the same.Pls dun ask me why it's liddat, it has happened and i'm trying to be very ignorant about it.If I can be treated as if i'm so insignificant, i dun see why i haf to care so much about those pple.I'm gonna challenge myself to ignore all these... let's see how long i can do so... let's set it min at 2 weeks and longest at 1 mth. If i can endure this torture, den i'll really clap and salute myself, and tell myself i'm really independent, that i do nt need this deceiving surreal superficiency animore. I must be strong, even if i'll lose everything eventually.

work was alrite today, just that there's really a lot to do and that n that i didn't really get a proper seat, so i'm aching all over like shit. Started work at 10am today, i was on time! =D Work was at Yew Tee todae, managed to find my boss's hse wif ease~ phew. Actually come to think of it, my present boss isn't that bad, in fact, she's actually quite nice... maybe it's just the way she brings herself across. Guess i'm just too judgemental. First impression ain't always the rite impression, but it'll always be a lasting impression. Her hse was alrite... she has a very cute rabbit...by the name of ahboy i think... my god, the rabbit isn't a rabbit~ it's like soooo cute... it behaves like a dog~ she doesn't keep it in a cage, cos it's very big, so she lets it run ard the hse! And yeah, i was saying it's like a dog, it follows her around the house and when called, it'll respond and go to her! Cool rite??? That's the first time i ever seen a rabbit liddat! She also has a guinea pig...and when i was sorting out the no. cards in the living room, the guinea pig kept knocking it's head on the roof of the cage... poor thing, think the cage is a little too small... haha. Yep, too much things to do todae, and i cldn't finish everything. Her mother's very nice, kept gorging me wif food... but nw i gt sore throat. Lol... -.-' Will be going down to bugis to work tomolo, dunno if i'll haf anione to lunch wif, even if i dun haf, i must learn to be alone, so yep, let that be a start.

It's ok if no one understands what i'm toking, actually, that's the main purpose, i need to let it out, but i dun one pple to know what i'm toking about. As long as i understand, it's good enuff. So let's just hope that after my slp tonite, it'll be a better dae for me tomolo~ i'll endure, i must. Going solo, the road of isolation for me has began nw.

Read more...

Superficiency

Finally decided to update. A lot has happened during all these time,but i just simply cldn't be bothered to update. School has started for almost a mth and i felt weird nt hafing to attend it. It feels so good but i also feel and know that i'm missing out a lot.

A lot of pple haf been asking me if i preferred working or studying, and i really must say that i prefer working~ it's like though working is kinda more tiring and boring... i still like it more~ I earn my own money and i spend my own money. I no longer haf to beg to get what i like and get upset when i can't get what i like. At the end of my work everyday, i'll feel so darn proud of myself and will walk in big strides, it's really a very carefree feeling, and i'm loving it.

Watched Ella enchanted and scooby dooby doo II, haha, sdd II is so funky... and i think Mathew Lillard is really so cool, i'm still mesmerised by him! Haha... weird taste u may think, but he's really cute when he's nicely shaved and trimmed! He's shaggy in the show but he's so funny! Ella enchanted is just another typical cinderella show... nthing unexpected... so yeah...

Went to worked at the office todae... man, i've got a new boss by the name of Julie... i dun like her!! *GULPS* She really behaves as the boss and i feel so uncomfortable wif her around lah... how ??? nvm, she'll only be my boss for one week... just bear wif her for one week jiabao... u can do it, she's nobody to u buy a ATM that pays u ur salary. Just get the things that she wants u to do rite and nt bother too much bout her. Everything will be over in a blink of an eye. That's rite. I mean, ya, even though she's really my boss, the person in charged of me, she cld haf been a little more friendly ??? Just a little?? Just smile at me at times and be less strict wld haf been very perfect alr.... but she's none of these, she just come in, gives instructions to me and goes out. I hate it man, she made me feel so inferior. Wafever lah~! SHIRLYN!!! TAKE ME BACK UNDER U!!! Haha... well, when this is over, i'll be working as a telemarketer alr, so hopefully, everything will be alritey...dun haf to see her stinking face.

Met up wif alycia todae...wah it's been a long time man... really miss that little person... haha, bought her belated belated bdae present. Oh yeah, den we went Seoul garden for dinner. As usual, Seoul garden was awesome. I dunno why but i really love seoul garden. I hate like 2 whole plates of chicken, 1 plate of prawns and sotong, some vimicelli, 6 cups of soft-drinks and 6 scoops of ice creams. We even came out wif our own recipe for sources to cook our food. Ms Alycia the great chef, is erhem, indeed great.

Alrite, that's all i haf to sae for nw. Last sentence before i leave sometimes, everything just seemed so superficial, u wanna do something to change the wae thing is, but sometimes, all u can do is stand and watch it happened, cos u're just so helpless.

Read more...

I've sank into depression... ms lamu took it~ 

Read more...

Sentimental and deject eileen... lol 

Read more...

Being in an artistic place, we're trying to be artistic too, so we took the artistic side of lishan and i took it~! 

Read more...