Wheeeeee......hw time flies, and it's almost a week since i last updated my blog, has been darn busy~ and finally, it was all over last nite~ everything went well yesterdae, and i had so much fun! Anywae, so many things had happened this week, so let's see if i can remember them all and put it all out here.

Wednesdae: Felt so disillusioned this dae...nv felt so down for like so long, it's like a second attack during this week...the maths ca...oh my god...i nearly died........................................................................i could feel myself going all weak over when i handed my paper up, and never in my life had i wished tht maths cld be over soon, i've always enjoyed maths, but todae, i cldn't wait for it to be over. When it was over, i stormed out of class,wif edrea following behind..sometimes, i feel tht when i need my friends to be here for me, they aren't.When it was time to go home, 2 of them cld actually just tell me, take care, byebye, when my head was burried under my jacket. Is this wad i called my good friends? One of them cld actually blamed me for nt toking to her somemore. I dunno anymore. Had rehearsal todae, man, she did so much to cheer me up a little, without her, maybe i cld haf just died. Met another her at the bus stop. During cls when i was looking so sad, so frustrated wif myself, she didn't even seemed to care or bother or perhaps even notice, when i saw her at the bus stop, i just smiled a little at the bus stop and boarded the bus. Usually if i see her, i'll be happy, but todae, i felt i've got no face to see her.

My fishy mother sms me, asking if i was feeling alrite. She said so much to motivate me, spur me on and encouraged me, man, i really dunno wad i wld do without her. Thanks man.

Thurs: Feeling slightly better...but was still quite shaken from yesterdae's incident. CLDDS todae. It was quite fun, did alot of last min work, my bow and arrows are finally ready. =) When everything was done, it was already 7pm. Met my dad pet, den went for dinner together wif us, me and weng, her treat, thanks dad.

Fridae: Finally, it's the dae~ anywae, before tht, i got back my maths. OMG... I ACTUALLY PASSED! I GRIEVED for NOTHING on wednesdae, damn ass man. By 3+...we all started bathing and stuff...quite fun bathing in school lah, den by 4, we went back to the conference rm and prepared ourselves. I was getting nervous man, oh boy. We started hugging one another, lol, it seems like it has become a habbit already for us pple...everytime when we haf to perform, we always hug one another. Weng laoshi, cheng laoshi and mrs seng all hugged me...haha...but still i feel damn scared...haha, although it wasn't my first time on stage.....maybe it just some kind of phobia i guess...haha. When the time came, my god i nearly FREAKED out...haha, i made quite a number of mistakes due to over nervousness but ahahaha, no one actually notice due to the fact i was happily smiling awae =) *PHEWS* I didn't wear my spects up, so i cldn't find my friends...haha...aniwae, everything was a success~ HEEEEEEEEEEEE...haha, mrs seng praised me! LOL... We went back to the conference room and goodness me, we looked as though we've gone mad~ all sort of crap came out and we just played and played. We took lots of photos too, and weng laoshi was making fun of my friends, esp aud.

After tht, we went back to class to get the sparklers...it was eeerie man i tell u...it's so dark and the doors were all closed and stuff...aniwae, after tht, we went to the basketball to play candles and stuff...haha, glad was so scared of the sparklers tht Weng and i was practically chasing her rd the whole basketball court...haha, den we lit up as many candles as we possibly can and dat stupid weng blew it all offfffffffffffffffffff....grrrrrr...hahaha, denw e relighted it and she started singing happy bdae to herself~ mad woman....lol, but it "inspired" us to play a game...we're supposed to go round singing birthdae song to everyone present in the order of our birthdates and so we started wif pamela, yanhan, weng, me, aud, glad and then ed~ haha, after we finish singing the bdae song each time, we're supposed to c who can blow of the most candle, and my god, pamela and weng are such pple wif extreme LONG BREATH~! Haha...dey blew out so many of the flames can?~ *PENGS* and the best gotta be yanhan...lol, cos she only blew off a few...lol...we were all laughing at her...my god, actually we weren't supposed to play wif the candles one...and weng laoshi was supposed to go round banning pple, but muahaha, she ended up sitting down playing and laughing at us instead~ lol....hope nothing bad will happen to her~ after tht, it was time for all of us to go, but the CLDDS pple had to stay back and clear the stuff...so yep...i really enjoyed my dae man, she had made it all fun for us, motivating us to strive harder~ after everything was finally cleared, we went macs together......

It was a super energy drainning dae but i really enjoyed myself.

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OK...it was quite a happy day for me at first...was mugging for my chinese CA tomolo, den my HP rang, said she's calling from TCS...at first i was like huh ? Then she repeated herself and said she's calling from TCS...i was like shocked...and den she continued to say tht i'm selected and wants me to go for audition...man, i was so happy and shocked. The first person i told was weng laoshi~ haha, was so happy and mad, and she was laughing at me... audition will be on sat, so scary, hope all goes well for me~ =)

Ok, but before i know it, i'm in a terrible terrible mood again, all thanks to my mother, my real mother~ wah liew, does she always have to use such harsh words on me ? If i'm really such a piece of shit in ur eyes like you say, you didn't have to give birth to me~ it seems tht everything i've done nv seemed to make u happy or proud, in fact, they all seemed be look like thrash in ur eyes. Give me a break. You said u didn't cherish me, fine, be it tht way, i've used to this kind of teatment alrd. Since pri 3, i've always been hearing these kind of words, i'm growing immune to it already. U wish i wasn't ur daughter, sometimes i wish i wasn't too. I thot things were changing for the better, but damn it, i dun think so. Many times i've tried tolerating ur unreasonable demands, but u nv seems to appreciate or realised all tht i've done. Sometimes, there are things i did which i thot wld made u proud, but all u said is tht they're nonsense. U always claimed tht i dun love u, but tell me, hw do u expect me to show u tht i do when u're always treating me this wae? I love u k mummy, but the fact u're always saying all these harsh words to me make me feel further and further awae frm u ? Alrd we're like not very close? And if u're constantly doing these to me, i wonder if i'll ever die.

I wanted to cry just nw, but i told myself nt to, big girls dun cry. I muz be brave. Tell me wad i'm supposed to do, wad exactly shd i do to make u proud, cos i really dunno.

Sometimes, i really wish tht i've already grew up, so tht i can start working and nt spend a single cent from her anymore. Just nw, she even said i cld move out if i jolly well want. I wish i could. Money is such a problem, hw far can i go without money ? Sometimes i really wish i could run awae from home...maybe one of these daes, i really shd. Sometimes, enuff is really enuff.

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