self analysis

i'm gonana identify myself

insecured.
jealousy.
fun-loving
bossy
tempremental
caring
loving
helpful
talkative
forgiving
loud
playful
bear grudges
stuborn
sensitive.
emotional
low self-esteem.

These are my factors...those tht exists in me...went for a career course yesterdae which identify all my personities...but i didn't take those i listed above frm the course...i identified these myself, tomolo i'll put up wad's the me i discover in my course.

I'm a person filled wif jealousy...i can't stand it when someone i'm really close to or likes is nicer to other people den they are to me...maybe i shd say tht's petty too...but yeah, i get jealous damn easily...maybe tht's why it always made me feel so insecured and has such low self-esteem.

Example ? This morning. No harmful intentions or wad...but just toking bout myself... i'm injured...and i used to haf my friends waiting for me and walking to the assembly ground...but todae, 4 of my good friends got carried away wif talking among themselves and forgot all bout me...i was limping all the wae behind...but i didn't open my mouth to ask to stop them...i just watched them walk on, hoping they wld turn round and realise i'm missing...but none did... maybe tht shows how little i meant to them ? I dunno... Now in my mind, i'm probably telling myself, big deal, i wun die without them...but deep down inside, i haf no idea how hurt i am just by little issues liddat...tht's y life's always miserable for me... do i really mean so little in my friends' hearts? When i'm feeling lonely, leftout or hurt, i become totally reserved in my own corner, i
m totally starring into space and i dun tok. When questions are asked, i answer them wif either a nod or shaking my head.

Maybe all these time i'm overly bossy, maybe i'm too sensitive, maybe i'm too tempremental...maybe these are the main causes.But i can't take away all these and make myself a perfect and flawless person rite? These bad points are part of me...dun we always say, accept me for who i am?

I know myself best...i can be a pretty nasty person when i'm angered...the grudges are held and i remember them for life. Nasty temper and words emerged when i'm angry, not a very tolerant person. I get over things very quickly; forgiving but it's really within my memories. I know i'm someone who's very fun loving, loving, caring and helpful. I can love people to death and sacrifice a lot just for them. That's me. I'm serious yet playful. Most of the time i'm very helpful, and there i times when there's excess of it tht it seem like wad we all called kayponess..

All these are just borned in me, if i were to remove some of these, ain't it removing part of me as well? Sometimes i really find life so difficult to comprehend and there are times when i think the way i handle my life is totally like screwing up every components of it, freaking things up and basically, madness. Frankly speaking, maybe too much had happened today, not a good day for me...i think i've been zonked~ maybe it's wld be nice if i cld just vanish into thin air~